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(During communion)
GIDEON (Age 6): Mommy, I want some communion cracker.
KIM: No, you can’t have any. It’s only for people who have been baptized.
GIDEON: But you haven’t been baptized.
KIM: Yes, I have.
GIDEON: (Very confused) But you couldn’t have been baptized.
KIM: Why do you think that?
GIDEON: Because you’re not dead.
KIM: Why does that mean I couldn’t have been baptized?
GIDEON: Because when you’re baptized, the preacher holds you under water until you die so you can go to heaven.

(I hope this kid never starts his own cult.)

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