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If someone has a heart attack, he is placed in an intensive care unit where doctors and nurses monitor his condition very closely. Family and friends rally around him, nurture him, and tell him to take it easy and not rush recovery. Too bad BROKEN hearts aren’t treated the same way. Maybe it’s because we don’t have tubes sticking out of us or maybe it’s because people don’t understand grief, but society often expects bereaved parents to be back to “normal” in a few months. They don’t understand that for us, normal is gone forever.In his book, A Grief Observed, C.S. Lewis compares losing a loved one to losing a leg:

To say the patient is getting over it after an operation for appendicitis is one thing; after he’s had his leg off is quite another. . . . Presently, he’ll get back his strength and be able to stump about on his wooden leg. He has “got over it.” But he will probably have recurrent pains in the stump all his life, and perhaps pretty bad ones; and he will always be a one-legged man. There will be hardly any moment when he forgets it. Bathing, dressing, sitting down and getting up again, even lying in bed, will all be different. His whole way of life will be changed. All sorts of pleasures and activities that he once took for granted will have to be simply written off. Duties too. At present I am learning to get about on crutches. Perhaps I shall presently be given a wooden leg. But I shall never be biped again. (p. 52-53)

I may learn to live without my daughter, but I will never forget her or stop loving her.

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