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Monthly Archive for May, 2013

Call Her Grandma

GIDEON (Age 6): From now on, my teacher’s initials are going to be G.G. like mine. KIM: Why are her initials going to be G.G.? GIDEON: Because she is going to be a grandma. KIM: How does that make her initials G.G.? GIDEON: Because from now on, her name is going to be Grandma Gilbert!

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AMILIA: Daddy, look at my new shorts! ME: Why are they faded and have fake wrinkles? AMILIA: *SIGH* You just don’t understand girls or girl fashions. I think it’s best that she figured that out now rather than later.

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I Must Be Getting Old

DOCTOR: We usually screen men in their mid-to-late 50’s for prostate cancer. Let’s schedule that test for you soon. ME: I’m still in my 40’s. (Awkward Pause) DOCTOR: Uh. . . Oh, well. OK. We can wait then. (Do I really look that old?)

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You Youglee!

GIDEON (AGE 6): Daddy, can you buy me some candy at Amilia’s softball game? ME: I think I can do that. GIDEON: Thank you, You-Glee ME: You-Glee? What does that mean? GIDEON: It’s another word for ugly. ME: Oh. Well, I only buy candy for people who are nice to me. GIDEON: No, No! I […]

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(Amilia and Gideon fighting in the back seat) AMILIA (Age 10): I’m older, so you have to listen to me! GIDEON (Age 6): Oh, yea? Well, I’m going to live longer than you! ME: Well, actually, if you both take care of yourselves, you’ll die about the same time since girls live longer than boys. […]

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Grief’s Dichotomy May 2013

Grief’s Dichotomy May 2013 by George Galdiano I don’t know who won the 1968 Olympic Marathon, but I remember who came in last, and he is one of my heroes. It was a scorching summer day in Mexico City when about 12 miles into the 26 mile race, John Stephen Ahwari of Tanzania tripped over […]

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Chocolate Kindness

Gideon, Age 5, walks in with a big bowl of ice cream and sits next to me ME: Whatcha doing, Gideon? GIDEON: Eating chocolate ice cream. ME: That looks yummy. Can I have a bite? GIDEON: Uhhh . . . ME: Just one bite, please? GIDEON: Uhhh . . . Well, since I’m such a […]

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I’ve Got Fever!

(Gideon, Age 5, is fake coughing and sneezing) ME: Gideon, what are you doing? GIDEON: I’m sick. ME: Why do you say you’re sick? GIDEON: I just took my temperature, and it says I’m sick. See? ME: (Looking at digital thermometer) This says 98.6. That’s normal. GIDEON: No, it says 98.6 “F” ME: Yea. So? […]

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Daddy Is Not Sexy

Conversation in the back of the car on the way home from church GIDEON (AGE 6): Sissy, what does sexy mean? I think it means good looking. AMILIA (AGE 10): I’m not sure. But maybe smart people are sexy. GIDEON: That can’t be true. AMILIA: Why not? GIDEON: Because Daddy is smart. AMILIA: Oh, yea. […]

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New Thor Movie

GIDOEN: Daddy! Did you know there is a new Thor movie coming out? ME: No way! GIDEON: Yes! It’s true. And this time, Thor isn’t looking for nookie! ME: (Cautiously) He’s not what? GIDEON: Thor isn’t looking for nookie this time! ME: He’s not, huh? What’s he looking for? GIDEON: I don’t know. I just […]

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