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Monthly Archive for March, 2015

Toes Intolerant

GIDEON (Age 8): Daddy, why don’t like black toes? ME: Huh? What are you talking about? GIDEON: Mommy said you don’t like black toes. ME: Huh? What did she say exactly? GIDEON: She said you were black toes intolerant. ME: LACTOSE INTOLERANT, Gideon! Lactose intolerant!

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Dog Breed

GIDEON: Daddy, what is a Yorkipoo? ME: It’s a cross between a Yorkie and a Poodle. GIDEON: Oh, so if you cross two poodle, what do you get? ME: A poodle. GIDEON: No, you get a Poo-Poo! (I think he set me up on that one.)

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A Wrinkle in Time

GIDEON: Daddy, did you know that we are not really standing up and down on the world? ME: Really? GIDEON: Yea, we are really standing on the side of the world, but gravity keeps us in place. Is there gravity on the moon? ME: Yes, but not very much. Did you know that gravity is […]

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Taco Tuesday

(Walking the Dog) ME: Gideon, see that car? We are near an alley, and it might turn in here, so we should wait. (Car does turn into the alley.) ME: See? I paid attention to what was going on, thought ahead of all the possibilities, and prepared for them. You always have to think ahead […]

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Old People

GIDEON: Daddy, is it true old people like to spend time with kids before they die? ME: Yes. GIDEON: Oh, that explains why you want to be around me!

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Gideon’s To Do List

GIDEON: Daddy, what are you doing? ME: Working on my To-Do list. GIDEON: Oh. I already have mine. Do you want to hear it? ME: Sure. GIDEON: 1). Wake Up 2). Be Awesome 3). Play Video Games 4). Go To Bed I have to admit, his To-Do List is better than mine.

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Gideon’s Invention

Gideon says he lost his teeth, so he made paper dentures.

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Star Bucked

At Starbucks ME: I’d like a Grande Valencia Orange, please. BARRISTA: May I have a name? GIDEON: Pssst…. Daddy, give ’em my name. ME: Gideon. (Drink comes out) GIDEON: Daddy, can I have a taste? ME: Sure. GIDEON: Mmmmm! This is yummy! It’s my drink now! ME: Uh, no, it’s my drink. GIDEON: Oh, really? […]

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