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Dog Breed

GIDEON: Daddy, what is a Yorkipoo?

ME: It’s a cross between a Yorkie and a Poodle.

GIDEON: Oh, so if you cross two poodle, what do you get?

ME: A poodle.

GIDEON: No, you get a Poo-Poo!

(I think he set me up on that one.)

A Wrinkle in Time

GIDEON: Daddy, did you know that we are not really standing up and down on the world?

ME: Really?

GIDEON: Yea, we are really standing on the side of the world, but gravity keeps us in place. Is there gravity on the moon?

ME: Yes, but not very much. Did you know that gravity is why causes wrinkles too?

GIDEON: Really? How?

ME: Well, gravity is what pulls your skin to the ground and causes you to get old and wrinkled.

GIDEON: Oh! Well, don’t worry, Daddy. Maybe you can buy a house on the moon!

(I won’t be on Facebook the rest of the day because I’ll be busy signing up for that trip to Mars and hoping that they’ll take someone as old and wrinkled as me.)

Taco Tuesday

(Walking the Dog)

ME: Gideon, see that car? We are near an alley, and it might turn in here, so

we should wait.

(Car does turn into the alley.)

ME: See? I paid attention to what was going on, thought ahead of all the

possibilities, and prepared for them. You always have to think ahead and plan

for what might happen, like Batman does.

GIDEON: I do that all the time too.

ME: Really? That’s great! Tell me about a time you planned ahead.

GIDEON: Well, if go out for pizza, I wondered, “What would I do if there is half

price taco stand next to it?” That way, I know if I rather have pizza or tacos by

the time we get there.

(I’m sure Batman thinks about that one all the time too.)

Old People

GIDEON: Daddy, is it true old people like to spend time with kids before they die?

ME: Yes.

GIDEON: Oh, that explains why you want to be around me!

Gideon’s To Do List

GIDEON: Daddy, what are you doing?
ME: Working on my To-Do list.
GIDEON: Oh. I already have mine. Do you want to hear it?
ME: Sure.
GIDEON: 1). Wake Up 2). Be Awesome 3). Play Video Games 4). Go To Bed

I have to admit, his To-Do List is better than mine.

Gideon’s Invention

Gideon says he lost his teeth, so he made paper dentures.

Gideon's Dentures

Gideon’s Dentures

Star Bucked

At Starbucks

ME: I’d like a Grande Valencia Orange, please.

Starbucked

Starbucked

BARRISTA: May I have a name?
GIDEON: Pssst…. Daddy, give ’em my name.
ME: Gideon.

(Drink comes out)

GIDEON: Daddy, can I have a taste?
ME: Sure.
GIDEON: Mmmmm! This is yummy! It’s my drink now!
ME: Uh, no, it’s my drink.
GIDEON: Oh, really? I don’t see your name on it; I see mine!

Check and Mate . . . He says it paired well with his Panda Express Orange

20/20 Vision

GIDEON (AGE 8): Daddy, am I handsome.

ME: Of course!

GIDEON: Are you skinny?

ME: No.

GIDEON: Well, at least we know your eyesight is perfect!

Bed Time Beep!

KIM: Gideon, brush your teeth then go to bed.

GIDEON (Age 8): Gideon’s not here right now. Please leave a message after the beep. *BEEEEEEEP!*

Beating Mantle

Watching Pawn Stars:

GIDEON (Age 8): Daddy, who’s Mickey Mantle?
ME: He was one of the best baseball players ever. He was a center fielder and first baseman for the New York Yankees, and hit 536 career home runs.
GIDEON: Phhhhht! I can hit more home runs than that!
ME: That’s great! And how do you plan on hitting more than 536 home runs? Are you going to work extra hard and practice batting every day?
GIDEON: Hmmmmm…No, I’ll just start my baseball career now.

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